Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
