I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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