Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
