they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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