what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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