Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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