my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize