I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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