Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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