He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize