The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
