I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
