She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize