shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize