now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
