I want to stick my p in your. b.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
