Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
