Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
