its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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