This is not my ceiling
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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