At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
