Small penises have feelings too.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
