Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
