I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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