This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
