He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
