and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
