Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
