so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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