Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my liver is dry heaving
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