my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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