New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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