it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
not ubering you a puppy
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