Dual....:-)
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
