My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
