You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
