One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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