You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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