remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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