There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
