Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize