I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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