currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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