He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize