Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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