nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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