i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize