he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
