I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
