the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
