so that wasnt chicken after all
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
