no, he came in my armpit
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
