Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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