i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
