i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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