you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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