You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
