dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
