Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
