he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I could make wine with my vomit
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
