You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
