Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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