And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
