I just pynch a tree in the face
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she peed on how many people?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
