You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
